Jersey's Best Posers

Matt here...first post.

Random musings are as relevant as ever, I suppose.

First up?

Lifetime.

Now, I suppose it's good that a NJ post-hardcore band, like Lifetime, enjoys some success in the years following their breakup. It's quite common, and they certainly were more popular in the last couple years than they ever were while they were together. Even their baby brother band, The Bouncing Souls, enjoyed more success than they did.

But here's my problem. And it's only three words long:

Fall. Out. Boy.

Lots and lots of people have strong opinions about this band. Many, many people (and these are usually teenaged, female and pubescent) adore them...they make myspace pages saying they want to rape Pete Wentz, they get piercings, and they wear their little "punk" uniforms. The rest pretty much hate them. Some hate them because they think they're supposed to, some geniunely hate them, and the rest...well, the rest is me.

I don't hate Fall Out Boy. I actually like the most recent record. Yes, it's poppy, yes, it's insanely catchy, yes, the lyrics are kind of silly, but they're mildly entertaining, and that's the point. It's fun. To be honest, the first (and I suppose only) time I saw them live, right before "Take This to Your Grave" came out, with Less Than Jake in Gainesville, they were pretty forgettable. I had no idea they would be huge, but I could honestly care less that they now are...it doesn't bother me at all.

This is what bothers me: The spicy-hot boner that they have for Lifetime.

Now, it's well-documented (and vocalized) that many popular bands of today were directly influenced by Lifetime, and most of them are from New Jersey...shit, Saves The Day's "Can't Slow Down" is to Lifetime's "Jersey's Best Dancers" as Sergio Leone's "Fistful of Dollars" is to Akira Kurosawa's "Yojimbo." Both are considered classics in their own right, but the former obviously rips off the latter, and the rip-off gets considerably more press and acclaim than the original product. Criminal.

Back to my thought...it makes sense for these bands to blend together...Lifetime took the Bouncing Souls out on their first national tour, pretty much acted as their big brother, and when Lifetime broke up, they actually sold Saves The Day their old equipment (it's funny when you think about it...when Chris Conley recorded CSD in '98, it was as if the ghost of Lifetime was being channeled through the guitar). I'm sure even a crap factory like Senses Fail might have had a member or two see Liftetime live at some VFW hall and been blown away. Fine. Give them all the props you want. But how did Fall Out Boy, all the way out there in Chi-town, become so "inspired" by them? I don't know. I even saw some VH1 VJ, I think her name was Rachel Perry, comment on Fall Out Boy's long, and generally amusing song titles, and saying how they got that from "Jersey band Lifetime." Are you fucking kidding me? "Theme From a New Brunswick Basement Show" might be Lifetime's longest song title, and "Danuerysm" might be their wittiest. The comment makes no sense! Lifetime has simply been reduced to a fucking name to drop so that you sound important...like the magic ticket of pretentiousness that lets people know you're cool. It's fucking disgusting! But even so, that's not even important.

What is important, however, is this: When I interviewed Dan Yesmin of Lifetime/Paint it Black for the soon-to-be disaster that was Hellfest 2005, he told me many things..but there are a few that I have specifically begun to take issue with.

First, we'll start with the point about him explicitly telling me that Lifetime was NOT getting back together. He said the band had received offers for lots and lots of money in the past, and the only reason they were playing Hellfest was because they were getting the opportunity to donate a lot of money to their favorite charites.

Bullshit. Lifetime has since been signed to Pete Wentz's Decaydance records, where they share a roster with FOB clone PANIC! at the Disco. You fucking liar.
Second, we'll discuss his comments on the word "emo." I asked him how he felt about the modern interpretation of the word, and what it actually meant to him, since Lifetime is probably one of the few late 90s bands that actually sounds like it emerged from the actual emo scene of the 80s and early 90s. He told me that the bands today being referred to as "emo" (i.e. Fall Out Boy) had "nothing to do with punk rock" and they wanted no part of it.

Ugh. Bullshit.

I really have no idea what the motivation is for them getting back together, or for them signing to Wentz's label. I will admit, the idea of a new Lifetime record is pretty tantalizing...but I just can't imagine what going to a show is going to be like. I heard the crowd for their Bamboozle set was filled with teenyboppers clamoring to see the band their beloved Fall Out Boy spews on about, but I just can't imagine how they truly felt about it. I mean, for the fans that take FOB seriously, and geniunely think they're the greatest thing since downloadable porn, it's almost impossible to think that they could enjoy Lifetime. They're pretty much the antithesis of FOB...they're on opposite ends of the punk rock spectrum. And the argument that "maybe they have eclectic taste" just has to take one look at their audioscrobbler profile, or a peek onto their iPod. Then tell me if their tastes are "eclectic" or just "whatever MTV plays." I just have this sinking suspicion that they will buy the record/go to the shows simply because they're told to (wouldn't be the first time).

I guess my unspoken (until now) disdain for this entire scenario is the thought of teenyboppers discovering the diamond in the rough that I found a few years ago while reading old Saves The Day interviews, but to do so would be impossibly hypocritical, pretentious, elitist and just plain dumb, since my discovery is exactly the same as theirs, just a few years in advance. I hope the record sells well, and since the presale for their nyc shows sold out in minutes, I'm sure their concerts will sell out quickly too. Good for them. It's about time they get the recognition. I just don't see what a new record can accomplish (even though I can't wait to hear it).

I hope it's good, but if it's not...

you can be sure i'll rip it a new one.

PS: The title of this post does NOT refer to Lifetime. Figure it out.